The most common question that I have been asked over the years is some version of this:
There is this issue that I am concerned with. Can you write about it?
That in itself is fine. What has been less fine? When the question has come with a said or unsaid addition of this:
But can you say it? I don’t want to because I am worried about my reputation or my job or I am just worried because I was raised to not rock the boat and I am terrified of ever sticking my neck out.
Guys, I don’t think you realize how completely offensive this is of an ask, but I’ll tell you all now.
Very.
Why has it ever been acceptable to ask someone else to step into the line of fire for you? Why do you think it is fine for someone else to wreck their career prospects or their reputation? Why is your reputation, your career, your life’s stability more important than that of someone else’s? It isn’t.
This ask is not being made from people earning minimum wage. It’s always from those making double, triple, or more what I make, which adds to the obnoxiousness of it. They will have a soft landing no matter what happens. I’ve never had that level of privilege.
To be absolutely clear about what I am and am not talking about: asking someone to consider writing about an issue/event/topic that is within the realm of what they have written about before is not at all problematic in itself. I get these kinds of requests often; if the matter is intriguing enough to me and within my ability to write about it responsibly, then I have honored the request.
At times, these requests come from someone with an ax to grind about something in the workplace, and often, the issue is one that is either irrelevant or entirely opaque to the general public. It feels harsh to tell someone “what you’re describing is a Monday. It’s not the level of corruption you’re imagining it to be. Your boss hasn’t created an environment where workers have to actually pee in bottles. Take a walk around the block and calm down. If you. can’t be calm, take it up with HR.” But sometimes people in white collar jobs need to be told this.
There was a time when the average person did not have so much voice and absolutely relied on either the media or the union to deal with a workplace issue (or “issue”). But, the ability to post to Twitter/X (or Bluesky, or the flavor of the month) and TikTok and across all the social media is not brand new; you can use most social media with a regular computer even if you don’t have a smartphone, and it’s free to use. Anyone can potentially build an audience, and because of the nature of this beast, anyone’s message can potentially spread like wildfire. Reporters will see what people post, and if something seems newsworthy, contact the person who posted about it. Among those reporters, sometimes, are even journalists — people who can ask the right questions and create a narrative.
My other reaction here would be — besides urging people to relax or simply post their thoughts on an account with their own name on it — to keep a private journal. On one level, absolutely this might help people get the outlet that they need without coming off to others as petty. On another level, if there is some kind of story to pitch, they have multiple dated entries they can refer to rather than trust their memory. If you are someone who thinks you want to “expose” someone or something, keep a journal. [There’s an exception…hold on] After a few weeks, go back through and reread your entries. Is this as important as you thought it to be originally? Was there a misunderstanding? Miscommunication? Were you going through something personally and being over-sensitive to other aspects of your life? Was the issue more complex — whether that justifies someone’s actions or makes the whole matter more egregious? Does this fit with a pattern of incidents? Take time to reflect before knee-jerk kicking something out into the world.
A learning moment: in September I saw on so many people’s Instagram stories a photo of someone wearing a KKK robe at a Tr*mp rally in southeastern Connecticut. I understand having a visceral reaction to it. But, I was seeing so many versions of “this is terrible and the police didn’t do anything” or “are you shocked that there’s Klan in this part of the state.” This is a time to apply critical thinking skills before circulating such photos/videos. Or, as I put it, don’t be your uncle on Facebook, FFS. In this case, my first question was: only one person in a Klan robe at the rally? Hmmm, that’s weird. Not an expert on this group’s activities, but what I know is that they are too spineless to show their faces. Cowards probably are going to want the company of other cowards. The fact that this person was the sole klan-robed individual at the rally and was obviously pissing off others at the same rally made me wonder if it wasn’t a kind of performance art/protest. Days later, this was confirmed in a Courant article in which the person was interviewed confirming this. In that article he acknowledges that Tr*mp rally-goers “were not happy that I was saying the quiet part out loud.” Whether or not this is an effective form of activism is another conversation that I will have when people whose currency is political memes pause their own activities for a moment. The point here is that people more-or-less within the same generation as me were quick to spread this rumor without engaging critical thinking first.
There are certainly times when an issue should not be tucked away in a journal, but those are ones in which the reporter should not be your first call anyway. If there is actual violence against people or non-human animals happening, then that’s a matter for medical and/or psychological support. When a matter is urgent, act with urgency. This should not even need saying. Actual intentional violence is not the kind of thing people have come to me with anyway, but I am spelling it out because we do live in an age of “well, what about…” and I want to let those trolls know now to not waste their breath.
Anyway, I hope this makes some folks stop to reflect about what they are doing when they make particular requests.
TL;DR: Put your own self at risk by signing your name to your own gripes.
