If you’re in my demographic, you’re probably going to spend a chunk of the month doing virtual battle against the wee tots who’ve been thrown into your vaccination age bracket by a governor who apparently sees no life stage differences between those who are 16 and those who are 44. (I’ve already raged tweeted at Lamont that since this is the case, he can give me back what years of gravity hath taken away, and also, cure hot flashes. Thanks, bro) They’ve probably found a way to hack the system with their fast, never achy, fingers…and all that we’ve got to secure our place in the vaccine line is Generation X’s superpower: invisibility.

For the rest of y’all who have time on your hands and Moderna et al. pumping through your veins:

ADD TO CALENDAR

  • REVIVAL OF THE MUDDY RIVER: Park River fans, take note. This virtual event, hosted by Park Watershed, may get you thinking about possibility. This is how they describe it: “The story of the Emerald Necklace, (aka Muddy River riparian corridor) reveals how landscapes along urban waterways provide essential ecosystem connectivity. The Emerald Necklace Conservancy fulfills the aspirations of Hartford native, Frederick Law Olmsted by hosting a spectrum of activities along the irregular path of the Muddy River. Revitalization of Boston’s Emerald Necklace is rooted in ambitious conservation goals of the late 19th and early 20th century. The impressive, historic scale of conservation can inspire communities to respond to the climate crisis with a new, 21st century parks movement. This event will review the history of the Muddy River within the Emerald Necklace with guest Karen Mauney-Brodek of the Emerald Necklace Conservancy, and will summarize the efforts of the Olmsted 200 movement with guest Barbara A. Yaeger of the National Association of Olmsted Parks.” This Zoom event runs from 3:30-5 PM on April 1, 2021. It’s free, but register in advance.
  • TAVERN LIFE: Since it’s still not quite time to hit the bar, we might as well learn about pubs of yore. The Connecticut Historical Society and the Welles-Turner Memorial Library are collaborating on this online adult program that begins at 6:30 PM on April 1, 2021. They say: “Taverns in early Connecticut were more than just a place to drink. Travelers and locals alike saw taverns as a place to be entertained, spread news and gossip, have a good meal, and get a night’s lodging.” Remember being entertained? Remember gossip? This program is free, but register online.
  • TODD GRAY: Wadsworth Atheneum curator Patricia Hickson will be giving an online tour of Todd Gray‘s MATRIX exhibit which explores “the legacies of the transatlantic slave trade, the African diaspora, and European colonialism.” This free talk begins at noon on April 8, 2021. Register online.
  • RELIGIOUS COMMUNITIES & PLANETARY CRISIS: This talk will “examine the response of faith communities to the climate crisis” from Hindu, Jewish, and Christian perspectives, with participation from Hari Venkatachalam, Rabbi Warren Stone, and Rev. Jim Antal. This webinar is a collaboration between the Interreligious Eco-Justice Network and Hartford Seminary. It’s scheduled for 7 PM on April 8, 2021. Free, but register in advance.
  • GO TO THE LIBRARY: Starting on April 19, 2021 the public will have another piece of normalcy back: the ability to browse the bookshelves. Visitors will have a two-hour window in which they can go inside, sit at tables. . . you know, use the library. Right now this only applies to the Downtown Library, which is unfair but also reasonable considering that the library branches are too small for visitors to maintain physical distance of six feet from other patrons; the Camp Field and Barbour branches are expected to re-open in May. Expect to be directed to use the self-checkout machine. The library will remain closed on Sundays, but will be open 9 AM to 6 PM, Monday through Thursday, and 9 AM to 5 PM on Fridays and Saturdays.
  • EMPATHY DIARIES: Author Sherry Turkle (The Empathy Diaries: A Memoir; Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other) will be giving a virtual talk centered on questions like “How do creativity, art, theater, and memoir enhance empathic understanding?” The first of this two part conversation is on April 20, 2021 at 7 PM. This is free, but register to attend.
  • TRIVIA: I was skeptical about online trivia, but after participating in a previous game, I can say that it’s different than in person and not in a bad way. For starters, you’re not in a loud ass bar with an emcee who blasts music also so loud that it’s impossible to talk to the person right next to you. With virtual trivia, if anyone dumps their beer on you, well, you let them in your house. That’s on you. The Connecticut Historical Society is hosting its second virtual trivia night at 8 PM on April 24, 2021. Tickets are $5 per person, and yes, there are prizes. Register online.

ON A BUDGET

Here is a cultural asset map showing some of what Hartford has to offer, regardless of your income situation. It is routinely updated, so if you glanced at it last month, look again: