Dear Litterbug,
I found the box to your pregnancy test this morning. You left it right in front of a church. I am not sure if you peed on the stick there or did that elsewhere. Maybe in your car while driving? That would require some talent; either that, or it would require complete disregard for your vehicle’s upholstery.
Nonetheless, I hope you got the results that you were looking for. In the future, please do not leave your junk on the side of the road. We can recycle cardboard in Hartford. I did not see the pregnancy test itself. Perhaps you threw that out. Perhaps you added it to your scrapbook so that you could relive the memories.
I noticed a few miles away that someone had left a cardboard box for Trojans. I will assume that those were not yours. You may wish to seek out the source of that trash, as you both have at least two shared interests.